One of the most difficult problems that children may encounter is the divorce issue of their parents. Of course the parents are both affected by what is happening to their marriage, but their children usually experience twice the stress that they are feeling. Unfortunately, there are long term effects that children might experience while they are growing into a young adult until they become an adult. But these effects will usually depend on how the children cope with the divorce issue of their parents. Usually the long terms effects of divorce that children may experience, are social and emotional effects.
The Effects of Divorce on the Child’s Social Development
A child whose parents are divorced may experience problems with their relationships socially. Maintaining friendship may be hard for these children, and as well as maintaining a good relationship with the opposite sex. According to a study conducted, children who have parents that are divorced usually end up being divorced as well with their spouses. The reason behind this is because they have a fear that their commitment and intimacy with their spouses won’t last that long. They also think that just like their parents, their relationships with other people will also become a failure and they don’t want to experience the pain that they have experienced when they were little kids.
Another effect of divorce in children socially is that they will have a hard time trusting someone, even their spouses. They will always think that divorce is the solution for everything, and even in small fights they will always come up with the divorce solution which is of course not good for them and their spouses.
Effects of Divorce Emotionally
Managing their aggression will be hard for children who came from a divorced family. Usually children are suffering from certain psychological problem such as, depression and this will continue to develop while they are growing as an adult. Children might also experience the fear of being left alone with their loved one, which can cause anxiety. Unfortunately, these psychological disorders may continue even in their adult stages. The feeling of isolation and sadness may also be experienced by these children, which can cause adverse effects.
There are also studies that are conducted that children who have divorced parents have a higher chance of having issues with their gender identities. They will feel worthless in their own identities that is why they will end up becoming confused about this issue. They also have the tendency to conduct sexual actions in a very early stage, and they will have behaviors that are delinquent.
Effect of Divorce Cognitively
The academic performances of children who came from divorced parents are most likely to fail. Usually once their parents start to have divorce issues, the children will also start to have examination scored that are lower than their usual grades. They will suddenly become aggressive in school which can lead to suspension or worse, expulsion. The overall attitude of the children will be affected, which can lead to children to have a passive outlook in life. Due to poor academic performances, they may be asked to take another year to complete a certain level at school. This can be a waste of time and money for both parents and children.
Divorce and Feelings of Inadequacy
There are some children who tend to blame their selves when their parents get divorced. They think that they are the ones responsible, why the marriage didn’t last. The growth of the children will definitely be affected, and can lead to guilt which they will be baring until they grow older. Interacting with other people will be hard for children, because of the uncontrolled behavior due to the divorced issue of their parents.
Having a divorce is not an easy thing to experience for anyone, and most especially for their children. That is why letting your children understand, why their parents decided to end the marriage is important. The reason behind this is because, they need to know that both of the parents can no longer continue with their relationship due to reasons that are not associated with their children. This will help children to understand, and to feel that their parents divorced because of other reasons and not because of them. Communicating with your children is important, for them to feel loved and protected despite of the divorced issue that happened between their parents.