Divorce and Having a Family

Having been a victim of divorce, a new generation of children from divorced parents who are now coming into adulthood and marriage and could be starting a family are opting out; children are no longer a high priority for many married couples. Having  children may have once played a role in getting married, but it is not so much the reason to be married anymore. A lot of couples have found that raising a family is not essential to the pursuit of having a fulfilling marriage, one particular study stated.

Divorce by the Numbers:

From over 2000 respondents nine questions were asked about who can create and sustain successful and happy marriages…. here were the results:

  • 42% percent of all respondents said children were the most important part of marriage
  • 30% percent stated that while children may be very important but not essential.
  • 28% percent  stated that children aren’t important to having a successful marriage.

The list had nine items that made up a successful marriage and children came in 8th in range of importance.  Most importantly, according to this study the following things/traits were the most important for a marriage

  • 93% loyalty
  •  70% sexual compatibility
  • sharing of chores at  62%
  •  53% was to have adequate income and decent housing
  • The drive to have children was only 12 percent.

In today’s world many couples under 40 experienced the divorce of their parents, which could be why they are opting out of parenthood. Many people from this generation fear not only the divorce of their parents, but to put their children through the experience similar to what they experienced.  Not only was the divorce traumatic but many of these adults suffered through parental alienation.

Caution is there when partners are considering expanding their marriage to include children. Adult children of divorced parents are more aware of the marriages are vulnerable to external pressures. The trauma of the divorce as children  that they experienced has scarred many married couples from having children themselves.

Victims of Divorce: Less Likely To Have Children

Carl Pickhardt suggest that currently there are more views of marriage “as a ratio to provide and care for adults more than to create a family with children. He added, “Young adults today are more motivated to pursue professional advancement than being dedicated to the work of raising a family. Many are reluctant to give up the fruits of personal freedom for self-sacrifice it takes to become a parent. “

Carl Pickhardt states some couples do not want to “disturb the status quo marriage with the motto being: “if it is not broke, do not fix it”. Expansion of the family in the future would be a plus for many but not essential for others.

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