Divorce and Children

Divorce is a highly unwanted yet an unavoidable situation. It does not merely break a family. It breaks a dream, the dream of two people when they were joined together by the marriage. It is a detestable and terrible outcome. However, nobody could deny the importance of  it and  the allowance of divorce in society- some relationships were never meant to be.

Humans are not robots. The unique quality of human is  change, we change with time, we  change our minds and our habits. And as we change, our philosophy of life will change along with our likes and dislikes.  It is simply not possible  for a human to lead a prescribed single tracked life. We are not built that way. If we think  something is not right in our life, we try to correct it. Divorce in a human relationship-is one of the measures we take when a correction needs to take place in our life.

There are many societies and many religions that do not allow divorce once two people are joined in marriage. These couples are forced to stay in the family together no matter what. Catholics and hindus are two among many religion that frown upon divorce.  Other religions accept and allow the divorce as the least wanted and highly detestable ‘legal action’. These religions do not encourage divorce and accepts it reluctantly as they realize its importance in human life. However, they always advise to give a second thought and always are opposed to a sudden decision of divorce. The decision of divorce must be taken examining every angle and for the betterment of the situation.

Divorce does not separate two people. It breaks up a family. Generally, the children were never the cause to initiate a divorce, yet they become a victim of the incident. They carry a negative impact throughout  their life. Before getting divorced, it is important to prepare the children. The separation of two of the most lovable persons cannot be taken easily. Divorce may impact the psychological balance of the children. The effects of it can be observed in the child’s psychology  in various forms.

Children from divorce can suffer from depression that can show up in their behavior. This sense of insecurity could cause that they suffer from anxiety disorders, conduct disorders or adjustment disorders. They may become irritable, agitated, or fatigued, and may suffer from feelings of worthlessness. Persistent behaviors of aggression, destruction of property, or deceitfulness or theft also could occur.

However, the response of divorced children’s  behavior also depends on the age of the children. If the children are young, many think themselves responsible for the divorce and think they are  burdens of the divorce. An older child can take it more easily, but it surely makes an impact to their behavior too.

It is the responsibility of both  parents to see that the divorce process make the least impact on their children. The children should be educated of the situation in advance. They must be prepared for the coming situation. Arrangements must be made to help the child.

It is important to think of the child’s psychology through various social educational programs and counseling. A person has the right to divorce, but he has to ensure that their children do not suffer any more than need be. I prefer lawyers and divorce mediators who focus on the needs of the child. Since my divorce, protecting children from the aftershocks of divorce has been my crusade.