There is a great trend of collaborative efforts being made to settle couples going through a divorce with civility and keeping them outside of the courtroom. This has been repeatedly shown to be a valuable choice for all involved. The lower pressure and anxiety that are caused by the use of mediation and so forth leave most parties feeling far more satisfied, and far less violated by the entire process.
What is collaborative divorce ?
Collaborative law, or collaborative divorce is a process of getting to a divorce settlement or agreement by having all parties working together for the benefit of all involved. This process requires everyone’s active participation and allows for all to be involved and not left behind or feeling oppressed by the procedure.
Collaborative divorce is typically opted for for the simple fact that taking a divorce before the courts can lead to uncertain and, quite frequently, unhappy results. It’s been shown repeatedly that those who let their divorce fall into the hands of the divorce seldom have outcomes that are what they desired.
A litigated divorce can cost you a lot of money
Litigated divorces are often long and drawn out. This alone can make the pain of the entire situation amplified exponentially. When the divorce process is allowed to carry on for months and months, sometimes years, everyone involved can become severely emotionally damaged and scarred against any hope of good and clear future relationships.
Though sometimes this simply cannot be avoided, this is by far, not always the case. It is also true that it does not have to be the norm. And this is the main reason for the rise of the good of collaborative divorce process.
However, it should be noted that some lawyers, as well as the American Bar Association, have not been looking as favorably upon the collaborative process as they do a litigated divorce. There have been some lawyers discouraging their clients from heading in that direction for purposes that are less than savory.
You see, when a divorce settlement does not go to court, lawyers don’t make nearly the amount of money that they would if it had. Long and dragged out litigation for court cases means hourly rates adding up very quickly. A long case, in essence, assures a lawyer a more steady income over the following years and months. Of course, seldom does anyone pay their lawyer bills in one lump sum. People pay those over time. Just like a credit card company, the lawyer is happy to have a guarantee of your money coming in every month for years.
But collaborative law utilizes not just lawyers, but mediators and other professionals as well. Everyone involved is working to benefit the entire process for the good of all involved, instead of seek revenge, spite, and act out on anger and wrath.
If your lawyer is adamantly insisting against a collaborative effort, you may want to second guess their motives, and even get a second opinion. Just because they’re arguing against it doesn’t mean that they’re out for your wallet, but it could be a warning sign. It should be noted, however, that the lawyer may be seeing possible outcomes that could indicate that mediation may not go well. Hear them out, but follow your conscience.
Collaborative Divorce can lead to a better outcome for both parties
If both you and your ex-spouse are both ready and willing to work the settlement out in a peaceable manner, then there’s little reason to argue against it. Those who follow through with a collaborative divorce typically will find that they’ve come out with a far better circumstance than they ever could have in the courtroom.
Some couples have even found themselves able to be friends, and co-exist in the lives of one another without animosity and strife. A collaborative divorce affords this well. It gives both spouses the chance to be decisive and conclude the marriage on a strong footing with nothing left to discuss.
It’s no strange thing that this would be beneficial to all. When the power is left in your hands as it is in the collaborative process, you’re able to settle knowing that the decisions were your own, or at least that you were an integral part of the decision making process. You weren’t forced into how things will be handled. The outcome of your divorce was the result of civil and dedicated discussion, bringing everyone involved to the close of one life, and moving on to the next in confidence.